Well this happened about 4-6 months ago but the thought still lingers in my mind… more like haunts me. There is one individual who works in my team who has chronic bad breath. I’m not talking like “kind of stinky” something small times like that…. we are talking more along the lines of “God Damn Putrid“.

Anyways to illustrate this point I would like to share a story…

I had got to work early this fine day… but not earlier than Stinky. Stinky was there first and when i got in he was using the shared phone we use for something clearly personal. No problem with that, but the way he was talking was like a low whisper, very heavy sounding… a few hours later the other coworkers arrived @ work and we began our day.

Around lunch time, probably 3-4 hours later, a coworker and friend of mine was trying to do something with a bank and as a result was placed on hold. About 5 minutes into waiting on hold he says something, and this is how it goes:

co: “Do you guys smell something?”
me: “what? no..”
co: “What the hell is that, it smells like shit!”
::He starts sniffing around in the air making a sour puss face like it hurts::
::He sniffs left… sniffs right… looks @ the phone and SNIFFS the mouth PIECE::
co: “Oh what the fuck it’s the phone!”

At that point it all came together… Stinky’s breath had actually stained the phone’s mouth piece with it’s rancid scent. Picture something like a CSI bullet penetrating a body — when Stinky talked into the phone that morning the rotten fog of his breath had coated the mouth piece like cling wrap on a plate of feces.

I had no idea what to say and almost laughed out loud when my coworker discovered the stench was coming from the phone. What can you say? “That smelly bastard did it man!” No, thats mean.

My coworker ended up getting a monitor cleaner/wet nap thing and wiping the whole phone down.

That was incredibly disgusting.