Today is a sad day. This post is in a new category called “Off Topic” because this happened in my condo but it definitely parallels the theme of this blog — ‘Gross at _______’.

Anyways, this condo of mine is basically brand new and I needed the standard communication staples; TV, telephone, and Internet. My area only gets service from Comcast so 2 days ago I called up Comcast and scheduled an appointment to have all 3 items installed and to my dismay, a little somethin’ extra.

Dude is supposed to be @ my condo between 8a – 12p. Gluttonously using the window he shows up @ 11:15am and i show him all the outlets, the underground cable hook up and he starts doing his thing. The guy is a big guy and he’s crawling all over the floor breathing hard and coughing occasionally. He was actually really a nice guy, and answered all of my questions about how Comcast knows if i have various services or not by use of filters.

After some time goes by Dude pops up and politely says, “Mind if I use the restroom?”. I said sure, use the one on the left, it works better than the other one. He comes back 2 minutes later and continues to work.

About 40 minutes later Dude finishes up and says I have to sign some papers. We joke about me “signing my life away” and he says I already did that when I bought the place… hahaha, good one Dude!… papers all signed we exchange thanks, and he leaves.

I am super late for work at this point so I run around turning off the lights but when I got to the bedroom I noticed that the bathroom door is closed… and then i realize the fan is on. A wave of terror shot over me. Nobody leaves the fan on and the door shut after urinating. So I open the door and look it. My terror moved up 1 notch on the terror scale when I realized Dude dropped a deuce in my toilet and PART OF IT WAS STILL THERE! I am not saying he didn’t FLUSH but it looks like he flushed but left without realizing the flush was not 100% successful. From the rancid looks of things it was maybe 70% successful. As I mentioned before in this post, today is a sad day.

Since I was late for work I needed to open the window, turn the fan off, and rectify Dude’s failed flush attempt. I enter the bathroom. Two things immediately assault my senses like a ninja on a sloth:

1. Smell: It smells like shit.
2. Touch: It’s very warm.

The fan that Dude turned on also has a heater in it — so not only does it stink in the bathroom it is hot and the bad vibes radiating from the nasty deuce in my toilet makes it feel a bit musky. I held my breath, ninjaed it to the window, hit the switch and left ASAP.

I dunno but this is pretty nasty and Comcast should tell their guys they can’t go around to customer’s homes dropping bombs (in less than 5 minutes!). I understand as a human these guys just sometimes have to do their duty and shake a booty and being on the road all the time probably doesn’t permit bathroom breaks but still…

If you have any suggestions on how i can clean this toilet feel free to leave a comment.